Understanding Human

smile. it's such a weird thing. just happens. we have no control over it. people think smiling means being in a good mood. that's not always the case. remember the time you were crying and you remembered a happy moment so you smiled briefly, with no intention of doing so, and went back to crying again. we don't smile cause we're happy, we're happy cause we smile. 

we smile every day. maybe we found something likable, or maybe someone. it doesn't matter. it makes us smile. sometimes we try to control it. we think that we did. controlled it. but we didn't. smile isn't just about how our face structures or how the lips move. we smile with our eyes, just as much as we smile with our lips. we can fake our lips but we cannot fake our eyes. we just can't. a smile in pain can be distinguished from a smile in happiness, only through the eyes.

eyes. it's where everything about us sparkles. our happiness, our sorrow. our excitement, our seriousness. our truth, our lies. everything. it is what makes us see and what about us can be seen. we don't think about them much. they are just there. we feel the eyes most when we are in pain. the first thing we do is try to hide it from reflecting in our eyes. irony, don't you think. 

pain. that damn pain. is it a bad thing? we don't know. do you like it? i hope not. i don't mean to say you're sadistic if you like pain, it's just that no one should be in pain. but something about it feels damning. the first thing we did, when we arrived in this world was cry. well most of us. almost all of us. we try to hide something that we got at birth. IDK why it is. maybe we fear being embarrassed, maybe we fear being pitied, or maybe the nature of pain in itself is what we don't want anyone to see. but we can't hide pain, can we? maybe we hid it, but that's just for now. it'll take its toll eventually. we think we're strong. we think we can handle it. don't we? pretend to be more powerful than whatever is hurting us. we have to constantly be reminded, about pain. it is what life is.

life. yes, this life. or that life. ours. or someone else's. people say life is beautiful. but in what sense? in the sense we're just living? in the sense that it's just amusing in itself? why? on what basis? it is because it is short? but that means life's precious. cause it is short. but ever wondered why it is beautiful? we're constantly under stress, we get hurt, and we sometimes wish we were never born. but we say it too. or at least agree with the idea. we never know when it's going to end. we try to make the most of it. we make mistakes. learn. grow. maybe it's beautiful cause every life differs from another. it's like a garden, with different flowers consisting of thorns, but yet, we look at each flower and think it of as being more beautiful than the other, ignoring all the thorns. that's what being human is. trying to be good while making everyone else around better. being with them, in both joy and grief. forgiving their mistakes and praising them for their success. 

mistakes. yes, that thing we hate. that thing that we never intended to do. that thing that we wish we could undo. but sadly, we know we can't. we know it happened, whether it be knowingly or unknowingly. we start to think, can we fix it? or minimize the consequences it could bring? or we try to hide it. just in the hope no one will ever come across it. but we know what we did. we feel guilty. sometimes we come clean about it. sometimes we don't. sometimes we don't need to, cause that mistake was minimal and it did no harm to anyone. honestly, most of the time is just that case. but when we make mistakes and it affects others, that's when we realize how powerful a mistake can be. we try to do anything to undo it, redo it in a different way, and try to minimize the damages it caused. but we forget one simple thing. to ask for forgiveness.

forgiving. the part that comes after someone says "i'm sorry", but only if they mean it. sometimes you don't need the words, just the eyes are enough. it's the most difficult to overcome. forgiving others can be easy, but it can also be the most difficult thing. depends on what kind of person you are. what exactly did the mistake take of yours? what it did to you? you become trapped in yourself until you're forgiven or you forgive others. just as much as owning the mistake through the heart means when asking for forgiveness, forgiving through your heart is as much important.

heart. yup, that thing. that thing which is keeping you alive. so you could make mistakes. so you could forgive others. so you could feel pain. feel happiness. feel what tears bring, or what that smile entails. so you could live. love. it's just a muscle but it's so much more. so much. it feels everything even more than your brain. you are happy, it'll pump relaxed. you're hurting, it'll pump slowly. you're afraid, it'll pump like there's no tomorrow. you're excited and your heart will be too. everything comes from it, and everything to it.

love. the thing that the heart stands for. you feel everything in love. joy, grief, pain, excitement, and seriousness. you name it. all those things can only be felt through the heart. at least to our understanding. love is vital. for living. growing. as social creatures, we long for love. it isn't that we can't survive without it. we can survive without love, but we cannot live. to live, to prosper requires to be loved and to love others. without love is darkness, so people say. but we can't know for sure. people like being lonely. but they too want to be loved. to mean something to someone. to be valued. to be in someone's heart. even after death.